Tuesday, 6 October 2015

When real life gets in the way.

I’m so sorry I’ve disappeared from the internet-world for ages but life keeps getting in the way. Too many members of my family are very ill and my poor old brain just can’t cope with everything. I’m afraid my online life is the area that’s been squashed out.

My computer is gathering dust. It’s very confused, there used to be a time when I couldn’t go a whole day without switching it on. It doesn’t know what’s happening!

In the past going online was my happy place, the place I’d go when life was a bit miserable or a hard slog. And I loved it. Loved reading and writing about beautiful young men, love and passion. I could lose myself in it as hours simply slipped by. But now things are too serious, too overwhelming, to hide from.

I wish I could. Oh I really wish I could hide but this is too much. So I will be back as I can, when I can. I miss everybody and my beautiful boys.

Friday, 21 August 2015

New review for 'What you see'

I really like this review, especially the last paragraph. Thank you, Love Bytes.

"When I first read the blurb for this book, I saw “sex for money,” and imagined it would be an erotic rent boy or kinky slave book. Though What You See was very erotic, I was in no way disappointed to find a moving romance filled with plenty of grief and angst. I was on the brink of tears many times, but I love a book with the power to squeeze my heart."


Friday, 31 July 2015

To cut or not to cut?

Ho hmm....

I sort-of submitted a new book to my lovely editor at Totally bound. I say sort-of because I was asking her opinion before it actually went for the formal process of submitting. She said exactly what I thought she'd say - I knew she was a clever lady! - it's too long, it needs chopping down.

I know it. She knows it. The whole world knows it but, by God, it's hard to do. When I wrote the thing I must have thought there as a point to adding those words/scenes. Maybe I was being self indulgent but... I liked them.

It's too long, too slow, too... much. It needs chopping but I don't know how. I know she will help but, bugger, it's a lot of work.

Do I want to do it?

*thinks franticly*


But I'm intricately lazy and I liked those too-many-words and not-going-anywhere-scenes when I wrote them and I really am very, VERY lazy.

I need to get my arse in gear.

Tuesday, 23 June 2015

Is it okay to post a few rambling thoughts?

I’ve been away from the internet because my dad and sister are both very ill and there’s only me and my 83 year old mum taking care of them.  I’ve been so swamped I don’t get time to think, let alone go online, and I really, really miss it.

Then there’s the problem of what to say. I’m tired of saying ‘I’m tired’. It bores me so it must bore everyone else.

I’m tired of saying they’re still poorly. But they are still poorly and that’s a good thing because the only alternative is they’re dead. For both of them there’s no ‘getting better.’ But they’re both  as well as can be hoped for at the moment. In fact my sister is doing way better than anyone expected. According to our GP’s prediction she should be dead now, instead she’s going shopping for the day.

Nothing stops her shopping!

And me? I’m feeling a bit isolated and cut off from the word. I’m tired and…. Tired of waiting for something to happen. That sounds awful and makes me feel awful for thinking it but, at New Year, I’d expected the worst by now and nothing much has happened. I’m feeling a bit of a fraud. I’m not sure if that’s the right word. I’m extremely, tremendously pleased that they are both okay but I feel a fraud for making such a fuss. Or maybe for being melodramatic.

Hey ho.

My darling editor lost her husband to cancer very recently. He had been ill for years and I don’t know how she did it. How she kept going and kept cheerful. Sue, honey, you have my upmost respect, you really do.

Wednesday, 6 May 2015

'Guys Like Romance, Too!

I was very kindly invited onto the 'Guys Like Romance, Too!' blog...


When the acceptable is not accepted by you, what do you do?

When I was very kindly offered this chance to appear on ‘Guys Like Romance Too’ the brief was to pick one of my stories that had a life changing event. Things like that happen in a lot of my books!
After deliberating for ages I decided to pick A Slow Process of Understanding because I’m proud of the story and I think it has a truly dramatic life changing event. 
Have you ever felt like you’re doing the right thing, the good thing, and everyone else around you isn’t necessarily wrong but you are definitely more virtuous than they are?  Go on, admit it, have you ever felt a tiny bit smug? That’s how Jimmy feels in the story. In his world slavery is common and completely accepted. But he doesn’t want to be one of those nasty owners he’s seen around. No, he’s different, better. He might not have wanted a slave but now he has one he’s going to be good to him and treat him decently.
He’s basking in his own righteous glow when something happens that throws him into complete confusion. This life changing event makes him stop and re-evaluate everything he thought he knew. He questions his own family, the world around him and, the most difficult of all to do, himself. 
Who is he? What is he? What type of man does he want to be? It’s not easy to be put in a position when you question everything. It would be very easy to ignore it, turn away and stick to what he knows, what’s commonly accepted. It would need an exceptional man to take the tougher route. 
Can Jimmy be that man? He’s not sure. As for romance? That’s just a distant dream. 

How to totally indulge yourself when writing

I, like many others, have periods when writing is so blooming hard that I will do anything to get out of it. Yes, I can make myself sit at the keyboard but there’s always Google to look up that 90’s band whose name I can’t think of. Or a recipe for lamb tagine even though I don’t have a tagine and no one in the family likes lamb.

Yes, of course, I have to look them up right now and, no, of course it won’t wait.

If I turn off the internet and make everyone in the house promise to shoot me if I turn it back on – although, when I’m writing, there’s always a word that needs replacing using an on-line thesaurus – there are other distractions.

It’s amazing what you can get out of the keyboard when you poke round each letter with a cocktail stick. I’ve done it. Too many times to count. When writers block hits I have the cleanest keyboard in England.


So how to make myself write?

I wrote a list of things I love. Okay, so it was another diversion that delayed me actually writing but, for once, it helped.

Part of the list.
  1. Beautiful young men
  2. Gymnastics
  3. Beautiful young men falling in love
  4. Closed, secretive, hidden worlds
  5. Beautiful young men falling in love and having wild sex
  6. Books
  7. Beautiful young men falling in love, having wild sex and being noble
That’s not a bad list. All I had to do was think of a story that involved all those things and it would be easy-peasy to write.

Gymnastics should have been easy to include. I *adore* gymnastics; the movement, the grace and, if it’s done well, the style and artistry. I’m equally passionate about both men’s and women’s gymnastics but at the moment there is no one – and never has been – like Kōhei Uchimura. Incredibly difficulty done with incredible style. A true artist.


But there’s a problem. Adorable as he is with his floppy mop of hair and his hairy underarms he’s not my idea of a beautiful young man who could fall in love and have wild sex.

So how to get gymnastics in the story? No problem: make one of the beautiful young men a gymnastics coach! Sorted.

As for the rest of the list most were also easy. Set the story behind an impenetrable wall of secrecy – I was thinking somewhere like North Korea only more secretive – and I could have all sorts of fun. Different circumstances: different rules that I could change and mould to my heart – and plot’s – content. Make one of the beautiful young men collect books and all I had to include was falling in love and wild sex.

I really, really, REALLY like writing about beautiful men falling in love and sex. Oh yes, I love writing about sex as well.

I had to be careful about one thing though. I know a lot about gymnastics and coaching so I had to make sure I didn’t overload the story with technical detail that only I’d appreciate. But, apart from that, the words flowed when I sat down to write. Mostly. I still have an extraordinarily clean keyboard but, hey, that has to be a good thing, right!

This story became my new book, ‘To Stand Close’ which was out in March.


You can find it here…

Saturday, 11 April 2015

March Prism Recommended Reads ~ Congratulations Authors

'To Stand Close' was lucky enough to be chosen as one of Prism Book Alliances recommended reads. I feel honoured. 

"These are chosen by us, the reviewers of Prism Book Alliance®.  It is a way to recognize those authors whose work sticks with us.  Those who go above and beyond."

Thursday, 2 April 2015

Ever fancied someone way hotter than you?

In the looks department I’m something that’s a little bit soul destroying. I’m ordinary. Such a plain word, a faintly disappointing word: ordinary. I’m not back-of-a-bus ugly or Julie Christie gorgeous, I’m in the middle: plain. I’m all right if I make an effort and there’s soft lighting but generally I’m bog-standard ordinary.


My partner is a darling. He’s a good soul and a decent man who tries his best, but also ordinary. I was going to say that he’s also, sadly, ordinary but I don’t think I really am sad about that. We match, and that’s a good thing.

I not sure if I could handle the pressure if he were a 10/10 and I’m only a 5/10. Trying to look my best all the time would be too much like hard work. After all I can only suck in my flabby belly for so long before breathing becomes an issue. I like breathing! There’s also the problem of trying to push my boobs back in place as they slowly slide under my arms when I lay on my back in bed. It’s hard to look alluring in that position.

Plus I’d never be able to sleep properly because I’d have to be up first every morning so I could rush to the bathroom to clean my teeth / do my hair / put on my make-up. Would hold-you-in big knickers be too much? All right during the day – if you don’t eat – but not at night.

Trouble is, not only do I like breathing; I’m also very fond of cake and wine. I’m not about to give those up.


And I hate the gym with a passion.

No, being with a truly stunning gorgeous partner would be too hard for a lazy-arse like me. I’m more than happy with my man and I’m going to keep him.

But I would, just once, have liked a night of steamy passion with someone drop-dead gorgeous. It will never happen, not now, not unless I pay for it and that really isn’t the point, but it would have been nice. To roll over and think wow, wow, WOW!

It would be even better if they were hopelessly, story-book, in love with me. Is that a fantasy for many ordinary looking people or is it just me? To have someone heart-stoppingly attractive, not only take us to bed but also to allay our fears that we’re not worthy of them.

Oh the bliss.

But, I don’t think I’d have the confidence to believe them. Why would someone that good looking want to be with me? And falling in love with me? No, I wouldn’t believe it. I’d always be thinking that they had an ulterior motive or that someone would take them away from me in an instant. I couldn’t cope with that. But it was a scenario that I wanted to explore. How do you let yourself believe that someone you think is stunning really, truly wants you? Even more difficult if you have a low opinion of yourself that has nothing to do with looks. Do you allow yourself to fall in love with them?

What if you’re already in love with them? Do you take what you can get, knowing you’re not worthy, or do you try to do the noble thing, the thing that you feel is more honourable?

Thinking about the other point of view, if you’re gorgeous, how do you persuade someone with poor self-esteem that you really are in love with them?

I was intrigued by those ideas/dilemmas so I wove them into the story in my new book, ‘To Stand Close’ which is out now. A beautiful young man forced close to someone who doesn’t realise just how beautiful he is. How can they fall in love and fall in bed?


Thursday, 26 March 2015

Saturday, 14 February 2015

Front cover reveal - To Stand Close

This is the cover for my new book - To Stand Close

It's due for early download: 27th February and general release: 27th March, with the print release the same day. 

I'm very excited!


Sergei Polunin, "Take Me to Church" by Hozier, Directed by David LaChapelle

Please, watch this. I think it's totally, completely beautiful. I also Love the song.

Saturday, 24 January 2015

Beyond Romance: Have you ever shouted at a book you were reading?

I'm honoured to be featured on Lisabet Sarai's blog. If you leave a comment you'll be entered into a draw to win one of my books. 

Go here...

Beyond Romance: Have you ever shouted at a book you were reading?

Wednesday, 7 January 2015

Cara Sutra Erotic Author Spotlight Series: Faith Ashlin

I've been lucky enough to be featured on Cara Sutra's Erotic Author Spotlight Series.

How fantastic!